The Breakup, the Shakeup, and the Wakeup.

I am alone,
And I am thriving…
I am not merely surviving!
I am thriving!
I am recognizing the pain inside me…
And I am writing…
I am fighting…

Gray Concrete Road Towards Green Mountain
I am learning to accept the journeys I embark on, even the journeys I take without much thought or plan.

After all, I’ve always loved to wander, but at the end of every trip, one must always return home.

Here’s to returning home…

Broken Heart Illustration

The Breakup.

The breakup is the end of the familiar… what you’ve known for so long but knew was time to let go of.  The breakup is glasses of wine at home alone.  It is marveling at the past. It is filling up your schedule with events, open mics and live music because you know those things make you happy and now is the time to be happy. Now is the time to remember all the things that made you happy.  Now is the time to remember everything you lost in the midst of it all.

The breakup is new friends and newfound wholeness… The breakup is realizing every decision you’ve made is the right one…even if it felt painful and hard at the time, it also felt natural and effortless.  The breakup is knowing wholeness is right around the corner, even if it comes with a bit of a shakeup…

multicolored smoke

The Shakeup.

The shakeup is fully feeling the pain of growth.  It is the escape.  It is unveiled trauma.  It is the adventure. It is ignoring all sense of sanity and going with impulsiveness instead.  It is infatuation and lust-filled escapades.  It is new friends in foreign places.  It is falling for uncertainty, yet accepting the beauty in the unknown…the euphoria of mistakes.. the sensation of touch… the longing for more.  It is knowing when to walk away. It is awareness.

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The Wakeup.

The wake up is the pain of unobtainable goals. It is regressing further than you ever thought you would but moving forward anyway. It is grieving that regression but learning to forgive yourself for it.  It is gratitude. It is loving yourself for being vulnerable and sensitive despite the scars that follow.

It is filling the holes in your heart with community.  It is learning something new even if every voice in your head tells you it’s too late to start learning something new.

You know those voices are not true.

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It is choosing not to stare at the popcorn ceiling of your room for way too long and learning to be strong.

It is realizing you have a voice that should never be silenced. It is understanding that your words can be used to empower people… to communicate in a unique way that no one else can.

It is realizing your voice matters.

Despite every insecurity and failure, you rise.  You know there are hardships to come. And you’re not afraid of them anymore.

The wake up is being okay after not being okay.

The wake up is nourishment and growth.

The wake up is the future… new opportunities, new ventures and new ways of navigating life.

The wake up was always inside of me

I’m just finally awake to see it.

Shernide Delva - George LeStrange Preserve-19

& that’s the truth.

Sher

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